it’s been two years since troy and i started dating. i remember the morning we had “the talk” like it was yesterday. we met at a small bakery in east charlotte. he drove his jeep and was dressed up for work, i drove a borrowed car and wore clothes from the previous day. my hair was in pigtails and i was feeling a strange mix of being too old and too young for this kind of butterflies in your stomach experience. it terrified me because i knew what we were going to be talking about. but i was so excited too.
over steaming cups of coffee, troy small talked for what seemed like forever. then, the inevitable silence before him clearing his throat and plunging in to the meat of the conversation. he didn’t mince words…he said he liked me very much and he had for a long time and that he really wanted to pursue a serious relationship with me. he flattered me with all the things he liked about me and then asked me what i thought. my first response was to ask him if he was aware that i was adopting a child. then i reminded him that she has special needs and is five years old…and i casually added that i would be returning to uganda in a few days. he said, “yes, i am aware of that, and really when you committed to adopt mikisa was when i knew that you were the right one for me”. i was floored and quickly assured him that i had also really liked him for a long time. in fact, i had a secret crush on him before i even knew his name! then i got really bold and told him that i was only interested if the intention was to get married one day. i said i was not interested in getting my heart broken and i didn’t have time or emotional energy to be in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. he agreed that he wouldn’t be having this conversation if he wasn’t very serious about this relationship.
then i started crying…because this was exactly what i had always wanted. i spent most of my twenties with this deep yearning for a companion and now, just as i had given up hope of finding someone, there he was. so we started a relationship with just days remaining before i would return to uganda indefinitely. i didn’t know how long the adoption process would take and because i was pursuing adoption as a single mom it could mean that i would have to stay in uganda for three years before they would let me have full guardianship of mikisa. but it was a season of waiting and learning to trust. we emailed and skyped regularly and troy came to visit us for one glorious week. time flew by and by the end of the summer, we were back in charlotte!
two years have passed since we started dating and so much has changed in our lives. we have faced some serious challenges and very difficult times with mikisa. we have struggled and fought for her love. we have moved three times and bought our first home. and then three months ago we had a baby! life has been full and exciting and crazy and exhausting. but i can’t think of anyone i’d rather be sharing this winding road with. we lean on each other for hope and help each other practice patience when it runs thin. troy is the perfect fit for me. he balances me out and compliments me in such amazing ways. he is my calm, steady, loving, loyal and trusted companion and i couldn’t be more grateful to God for bringing us together and making us family!