one year…

a year ago today i met Mikisa for the first time.  my little miracle-girl.  my welcome blessing.  she sat in the dirt, sucking her thumb and rocking back and forth, humming softly to herself.  her eyes were hollow.  she was starving and weak.  as i knelt down to stroke her matted hair, she winced and pulled back.  so i sat down next to her, our bodies a few inches apart.  she hummed louder and looked away.  i scooted over and picked her up.  i just couldn’t help myself.  she instantly started sobbing and her body shook from fear.  my cheeks streaked with red dirt and salty tears.  we cried together until she fought my grip and i put her down and backed away–heart heavy and mind spinning.  God, why?  i asked.  why did You let this happen?  why is she so alone?  she’s only a child.  innocent.  she wore a torn shirt, and nothing below the waist.  while i was sitting near her, she urinated in the dirt.  her body was scarred and bruised from hours of sitting in this spot on the streets.  only God knows what all she endured in those long and lonely years.  three years since her birth mom had abandoned her in a ditch.  she spent those formative years of her childhood on the streets begging for her very survival.  sleeping on cold, hard concrete.  not able to move the entire left side of her body.  unable to communicate except for two words “mpa” (give me) and “mama”.

Mikisa had my heart from the moment i laid eyes on her.  it wasn’t pity i felt.  i didn’t think i could make the bad stuff go away or that i could kiss her all better.  i didn’t even know if she would live more than a few weeks or months.  i was scared out of my mind.  but i was called to this little one.  God chose me for her and her for me.  we were are somehow perfect for each other.  out of this horrible tragedy of abandonment, abuse, neglect and pain, God is weaving something beautiful.  He gave us each other.  family.  and i never imagined the wealth of blessings that would come with being a mama to this African beauty.  in my wandering and dissatisfaction and desperation, just when i was feeling overwhelmed by the immensity of the need all around me, He gave me purpose and peace. a good and perfect gift. He entrusted me with a tiny sick girl who desperately needed love.  i saw her beauty through the dirt.  i saw a depth of pain in those eyes that made me shudder in fear, but also drew me in.  i saw her fierce determination to survive and marveled at her courage.  to have endured this amount of trauma in her short life had devastating implications for our little girl.  it will take years for her to work through her anxiety, anger, and lack of ability to trust.  some of the wounds will always be there.  but love is a strong and powerful thing,  and we are seeing fruits of His love (and ours) in our sweet little daughter.  what a privilege it is to be Mikisa’s mama.  and how amazing that God brought a daddy into her life too.  a man who models love exquisitely.  we are so blessed.  our hearts and lives forever changed.  we have come to know the Father in a totally new and much more real way.  and for that we give thanks.  again and again.

look what love can do!

photo credit: mandie joy

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11 responses to “one year…

  1. I have so enjoyed reading your blog lately and hearing about that sweet girl. You are the PERFECT mom for her, and I have no doubt that you do it excellently! I hope that you and your husband are well and enjoying married life! You are missed at masterworks!

  2. It is amazing to see the difference in Mikisa in just 1 year!!! I am so thankful that you heard and responded to God’s call to this precious little girl.

  3. I am amazed that it has only been a year…. to think of the healing that has come in one single year…. I wonder at what beauty year two will bring.

  4. You should mention that the shirt she’s wearing in the first picture fit Ali Rose at 4 months. Meems was a tiny little thing! I can’t believe the transformation, Christina. Love, parenting, cuddles, Jesus, and lots of food = a new little girl. Love you both!!

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