learning to be still

be still and know that I am God. 

yes, this is what i am learning.  to quietly celebrate the miracles.  to see the open doors but know that it is not yet time to walk through them.  to linger here with Him and try to listen to the song of His spirit.  i want more of Him so this is a perfect place for me to be.  this place of longing and waiting and dreaming.  i try to slow down.  to stare at something beautiful or sing a slow song.  but daily i am tempted into impatience.  i want my own will done and i want it now.  i know i need to learn patience, but my heart and mind fight this persistent battle.  my mind wants to be in control, to go make things happen fast.  to get us home as soon as possible.  but my heart says wait.  be still.  take it all in.  slow down and praise Him no matter how long this takes.

yesterday i learned that the judge is out of the office all this week and there is no guarantee that he will be in next week to sign my ruling.  i need the written ruling signed in order to get Mikisa’s passport and the visa which would allow us to travel.  i am also still waiting for USCIS approval, which will clear me to be an adoptive parent.  [yes, i know i did all the steps backwards.]  turns out the 90-something-year-old-man that my roommate is caring for is just too old to be fingerprinted.  his skin was too soft, they say.  so my wonderful friend and roommate, Patty, had to request police clearance letters from every city he’s lived in for the past five years.  bizarre how something like that can delay our return by weeks.  and now it sounds like a simple signature from the judge in kampala may take several more weeks to obtain.  but we are trusting in the God who can move mountains.  we trust that He will move the heart of this judge again, so that it will be possible for us to return home on August 17th.  we believe in His power and we know His love.

and so we wait some more.  we learn more and more every day about God’s perfect timing and His goodness.  we try to be still. and we know that He is God. i want my wanderings to be full of His grace.  full of the knowledge that He alone is in control.  so i give Him my tired heart.  i trust in His provision.  i marvel at all that He has done in the past few months.  not only for me and Mikisa, but also for the other families of the children we were living with.  He has shown His faithfulness in abundance!

“Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise,” says the LORD. Psalm 12:5

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28


One response to “learning to be still

  1. Heard you have returned to the states, please PLEASE keep us updated on Mikisa. Have followed your blog since it stated, so inspiring.


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