if there is one thing our generation hates, it’s w.a.i.t.i.n.g. we live in a culture of instant gratification. we want things now. we use google to find quick, easy answers to our questions. we get our lunch from the drive through, and scarf down the processed food as we impatiently sit in traffic. after frantically comleting everything at work, we rush home just in time to microwave something for dinner, which we eat while watching our favorite tv show (and fast forward through the commercials so we can watch it now). we shop online to avoid checkout lines. we make reservations so we don’t have to wait to be seated. we drive our own cars so we don’t have to go out of our way. everything is conveniently in express mode. easy. and fast. we are all frantically racing from one thing to the next. but God doesn’t operate any faster in the 21st century than He did in the 1st. so while we rush ourselves through the motions of our hectic lives, we can’t rush God.
waiting is difficult. waiting is “remaining inactive in one place while expecting something.” and being inactive means being powerless, a feeling nobody really likes. i become impatient and frustrated with the people or things that are holding me up and keeping me from reaching my goals. it seems like the more i want something, the harder it is to wait. at times i grow restless and i wonder if i’ve fallen into some kind of deep ravine where the waiting will never end and there is no light. i feel anxious about the next steps, and i despair over my lack of control. much of life is spent waiting, and while our natural inclination is to hate this lingering phase, the uncertainty can actually be a time of great personal growth. God uses these broken, desperate moments. He works them out in order to keep us on the path that He wants for us. we just don’t always see what He is doing. His timing is different from what we would expect. He sees things from a different perspective. He knows.
i’m not good at waiting. perhaps that is exactly why God has me here in Uganda, in this time of uncertainty and indefinite waiting. i want to continually renew my faith in God’s quiet, steady providence. waiting is not incidental to faith. waiting is the core of faith. . this time of waiting is actually a gift. i want to embrace it and cherish it. to live in the moment…and be happy with my “now”. it’s not all about me, and i want to use this time to reach out to others in joy and love. i want to be filled with thankfulness for what God is doing in my life. God knows my deepest desires. my heart cries. i want to look with confidence and expectation toward the future, trusting that God will fulfill these longings in good and proper time. sometimes i feel like i want to write my own story. i want things to go my way and i want to have control. but it’s God’s story and it’s already been written. if i try to change things, there might be a different ending. and it wouldn’t be as perfect as what God has in mind. i need to accept that there are some things i just don’t understand. my heart has grown with a deep love for the One who has me on this path. i am thankful for the challenges because i know that the end result is a closer walk with God.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”